Why the Bathroom?

Dear You Know Who, “I know I should be there, where you are... Tossin' and turning in my sleep; take being without you, now I'm gonna take my next; I got to get where you are. Ah Ohh." -Whitney Houston Hi, and all that jazz. So, how has life been treating you? What do I want to talk about? A lot of things, but due to certain facts, I can't reveal things...Sometimes, I long to be a comedienne, but my act is not funny to me, that is. Maybe I should try my act on a live audience. Are you Available? What’s new? I got a new swimsuit. It took about five hours because I could not find on that would fit my "backside" properly. I must have tried on 12 bathing suits. Speaking of bathing suits, why are they called that? You don't take baths in them. Ugh! Why do people feel the need to read while they are using the bathroom? People pick the stankiest room in the house to read a book. My brother doesn't always go into the bathroom to take care of business; he just goes in there to read. They should have those magazines that are in the doctor's office in the restrooms; they would get more use that way. What do you think of my act so far? Well, so much for the comedy career. I like the color green. Love ya! Mary