A Little Lonely

Dear You Know Who, "Love is a contact sport." -Whitney Houston Hi, what's up? Nothing much on my end. Today was okay except for the cut on my finger. I'm a little lonely, okay, a lot lonely. Anyway, I have very weird mood swings. (This page may not even get put in , but I just wanted to write it.) What's on my mind? I wish I could meet someone famous. Maybe I think my life will be more better or more enlightened, but does it make a difference? I don't want to be another fan. Having crushes on famous guys is aggravating, especially since I can't get a date with a regular guy. Why am I being so hard on myself? This one guy I liked, names Jonathon Rice, I asked him to go with me to this dinner that our job was having and he said no because he had a game in another city. I understood that, but he transferred to another college after the Christmas break because he did not get enough playing time. Awe man! Well, I'll check you later. Love ya! Mary

Been A Long Time

Dear You Know Who, "My mother always told me let no one try to make you something that you're not. You got to stand up for what you want to be. Don't let the pressure rock you and knock you to the floor." -Chuckii Booker How's life and all that jazz? I know it has been a long time, but life gets that way sometimes. Well to begin complaining, I watched the Oprah Winfrey Show one day and I have some preconceived notions that I am a borderline personality. Second, irregardless of what I do, I still remain an irresponsible dunce. I missed my 6:00 class tonight because I misread the blackboard. I am so dumb. I could have just sat in the class and waited until he called roll. (I would have been a little embarrassed, but would have known where to go.) I missed a class on Friday, but that was not such a big deal because that class meets three times a week and this one only meets one night a week. I don't really know what to do. Maybe I should seek professional help. I never really talk to anyone so I don't have an outlet for my mixed emotions. I may have made a very terrible mistake coming down here. I thought it would be for the best, but I see it may have been a bad, very bad mistake. If I were to go back, I would have to endure a huge amount of "I told you so's." I don' think I could handle that. I really don't want to go back because I am happy, but I miss being told that I am loved and things like that. Although no one hardly ever said anything about love except my godmother. She always knew what was up and things like that, even if I was smiling and something had happened at school, she could tell that something was wrong. Not to mention that I lied to this guy that asked me out. I told him that my boyfriend's name was Chuckii. I do have a good excuse for lying... He is a dog. (How do know? I have seen him hugged up with a lot of other girls and none of them were his girlfriend.) I know there is no good excuse or reason for lying, but I had to do something and that lie was the only thing that worked. I bet you are wondering if anything good happened. I a loan for my tuition and when I pay my tuition off, I will have enough money left over to buy some clothes. That's about all that has happened that's good. Love ya! Mary HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Big Play Sister

Dear You Know Who, "...Talk about the good times, talk about the bad times, but don't talk about me..." -Tony Toni Tone What's up and thangs? How has life been treatin' you? I guess you may have some idea who I am going to be talking about. There are those in my family who seem to think that I talk about her too much. I guess there is not anyone else to talk about at this time. I called her tonight. We talked for about an hour or so. Not much about anything n particular. She finally said that it was time to hang up, but I didn't want to. I could have just sat on the phone for awhile. It was cool having someone to talk to. I mean, I don't have anyone else to talk to and no friends. It gets boring sometimes. Love ya! Mary P.S. She hadn't read my letters.

Your Heart Muscle

Dear You Know Who, "...I'll be giving you the benefit of the doubt and I'm giving you a minute to work it out..." -Peebles What's up and thangs? What's up with life and all? So what's on my mind. Well, I am home relaxing. I saw Violet two times in a row although nothing spectacular happened. She just hugged me and nothing more happened. She is supposedly my play big sister. She makes no effort to even act like one. I tried to tell myself not to come expecting miraculous things to happen, but I did it once again. I have got to learn to control my heart muscle. Maybe I should just forget about it all. Is letting your heart muscle control you so bad? I don't even know!! That's for sure. I gave her the two letters that I wrote her, but I don't think she read them. If she did, she didn't show any signs of having read it. I don't know what I want. Well, I'll check you later. Love ya! Mary